Infertility... Part 2
At this point in the road Matt and I needed more intervention. Testing had shown he had super sperm and my body needed some help from the docs to conceive. We were now presented with Inter Uterine Insemination (IUI)
Most refer to this as the turkey baster- haha! So I would go through the same beginning process- clomid to help with ovulation, blood tests and ultrasounds every few days, a trigger shot to make the eggs release. On insemination day- Matt would deliver his swimmers to the lab- they would spin them to get the best batch- and a few hours later I would go in and with a catheter the doctor would insert the sperm directly into my uterus. Done! Seems easy- right?
Now you wait- the dreaded 2 week wait to see if you have become pregnant. Through these two weeks I was taking extra progesterone and also given an injection of lupron into my belly to help with implantation. Two weeks after IUI day- I go to the office to have blood work to confirm if the procedure worked and I was pregnant. ( Two days prior to this I start taking at home pregnancy tests because I'm much to anxious to wait for the doctor.) Just as the home pregnancy tests suggested- the doctor confirmed I was not pregnant. Round 2 - bummer!
So I get my period and then we start the process again.
During this time I was hopeful and scared. So many worries that I would not ever be able to get pregnant and we wouldn't have a family. And the blame I put on myself was SO much. My body was the issue- not Matt's. I was lucky during this time that a friend of mine was going through the exact same journey. We would text back and forth and offer support to one another as we visited the same doctor's office and went through the same steps. It was always comforting to talk with someone who was walking my same path while many of my other friends were pregnant or pushing strollers around the mall.
Round 3- drugs, blood work, ultrasounds, injection, IUI, progesterone, injection, 2 week wait. I'M PREGNANT! It actually worked! I couldn't believe it. I was so happy- so relieved that I would be a mom and we could have a family. I went for blood work once a week for the next two weeks to confirm my HCG ( pregnancy hormone) levels were increasing. They were.. I was so pumped. At 6 weeks pregnant we had our first ultrasound and saw the little sack- the tiny little baby growing inside of me. I was over the moon- Matt too.
Two weeks later at 8 weeks we went back for the second ultrasound. Beyond excited to see the little bean in my belly again I practically skipped into the doctors office. The ultrasound was fast- and the tech was quiet. She looked at us and told us she was very sorry but there wasn't a heartbeat. The wind was knocked out of me. I was devastated.
She left Matt and I alone and I sobbed, ugly cried. I thought we did it- we got pregnant- it wasn't on my radar that I would then NOT be pregnant. How was this happening? Why was this happening? I was just so sad.
We went to sit with the doctor after I composed myself and was told I could go home and wait to bleed or schedule a D and C ( Dilation and Curettage) at the hospital. We opted for the D and C because I never get my period normally- I need medication to bring one on when it's supposed to come. So the doctor agreed I probably wouldn't bleed on my own- we may have more trouble- and it would be safest to have the procedure. It was Wednesday and they scheduled me for Friday.
To be continued...